The logo and the company name change, but business stays the same. The mercenary syndicate formerly known as Blackwater has raked in more than half a billion dollars from U.S. contracts to thoroughly fail at stemming the terrorist-supported trade in Afghan opium, according to a new government report.

Condoleezza "Mushroom Cloud" Rice—whose historic tenure as national security adviser and secretary of state was distinguished by 9/11, two wars, self-preserving dishonesty, and idiocy—was given the U.S. Military Academy's Thayer Award " for service in the national interest" last night.