Majida and Adly Abumayaleh were just driving across their suburban Minneapolis-area neighborhood on a Friday night to get their teen son from a party. Until a self-appointed watchwoman, Nancy Kay Knoble, decided they might be agents of international jihad and grabbed a rifle.

Earlier this morning, we invited readers to tell us about their Election Day experiences, and one commenter offered a glimpse at the ballot above. Seriously, Captain Jack Sparrow is running for Hennepin, Minnesota, County Commission today. Seriously.