Last week, we posed a question. This week, we have an answer: "Senator Tom Cotton," Republican of Arkansas, is in fact not a natural human organism, but a hybrid experiment in which the brain of German general Erich Friedrich Wilhelm Ludendorff has been grafted onto the frame of a pugnacious giraffe.

Future generations will read of a warmongering Southern senator named Cotton and think we made that shit up. Will they be right? Let's lay out what we know, and what we don't.

In one of its last acts before Republicans take leadership, the Senate intelligence committee today released another report again acknowledging that yes, the United States tortured people in the war on terror—and no, it didn't really help much. Here's what we know today.

A Republican caller to C-SPAN's "Washington Journal" program warned his fellow GOPers not to get too extreme in the wake of their electoral victories Tuesday—which, he added, were all "about race" because "Republicans hate that nigger Obama."

"A voter gestures as Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) votes in the midterm elections at Bellarmine University in Louisville, Kentucky," the Getty Images caption reads. That's... accurate as far as it goes. Happy Election Day, Mitch.

In the leadup to today's votepocalypse, I've been pretty harsh to Sen. Mark Udall (D-Colo.), a terrible campaigner who's blown a pretty sure thing in his limp, cynical reelection campaign. But one reader wrote to me with a counterpoint——one strong enough that it's worth publishing here.

Who and what did you end up voting for? Have any hassles at the polls? Clashes between armed patriots and New Black Panthers? Sick to death about these godawful choices? Give us your experiences/thoughts/photos, from ranty picks to newsworthy voting irregularities.

Voting sucks. Off-year voting sucks the worst. Like Valentine's, Election Day 2014 seems less a heartfelt chance to express preferences than a mandate to give one's limited purchasing options a whiff of will and legitimacy. You can be forgiven for apathy. But you still must make some choices. Here's some info to help.

Democratic Colorado Sen. Mark Udall's tenuous chance at reelection took a hard blow Sunday after he was cussed out in the middle of a public stump speech by one of his own ultra-wealthy donors because, in the donor's words, "fucking abortion is all he talks about."

At least two electronic voting machines in a North Carolina county have been taken out of service after early voters reported that the machines repeatedly registered their Democratic choices as Republican votes in Sen. Kay Hagan's contentious reelection bid.

Who is the proverbial 1 percent when it comes to elections in America? This year, it's maybe a tiny swath of rural conservative voters.