It's been five years since Bobby Jindal, postmodern joke, retaught himself how not to speak like an NBC page. But if he's going to be endear himself enough to be your president he's got to do something big, like taking more of your money from you to bomb more non-Americans into loving America.

It's no Desert Storm. It's not even Desert Fox. It wishes it was Desert Crossing. It can't be Operation Iraqi Freedom, since we've used that, although it could be Operation Freedom Is Messy. The point is: U.S. war planners now say they need a name for this thing that's totally not a war, but a "targeted operation."

In his introduction to the international scene Thursday, Iraq's new prime minister told a gaggle of journalists at the U.N. that his country had discovered an "imminent" attack plot by Islamic State fighters against "subway systems in United States and Paris."

Bill O'Reilly has the spittle of a young soldier and the wattle of an elder statesman, but does he have the intellectual or moral mettle of a war strategist? No. No, he does not.

Ted Cruz, Princeton '92 and creepy bathrobe enthusiast, is really tired of all these nancyboys who run the military, insisting that there must be political reconciliation and trustbuilding to forge stability in Iraq. Is he gonna have to go over there and bloody up some jihadi ass himself?

Did you hear Barack Obama say last week that the U.S. would "not get dragged into another ground war in Iraq"? You may think that precludes U.S. foot troops from potentially leading Kurds and Iraqis in direct combat with Islamic State fighters. Don't think that.

Ha ha ha, these guys.

Three architects of the failed Iraq War strategy have written up a strategy to defeat ISIS that "will require as many as 25,000 ground troops in Iraq and Syria." Sadly, the document doesn't say "PEW-PEW PEW-PEW BOOOOM" when you open it, and it evinces no familiarity with Clone Wars.

Now that America's long war is getting longer, it's worth getting some outside perspective on what that war's all about, with all its twists and pitfalls. In short, it's worth asking George Lucas.

Much has been made of the return of America's neoconservative Iraq hawks to the media circuits since that country's slow descent into chaos became a fast descent into chaos. But now that war's coming back, Dick Cheney is having a real moment. Not just a moment: He's straight-up MacArthuring.

Perhaps out of legitimate fears over ISIS's increasing power among civilians in the Middle East and jihadists far beyond, or perhaps just because it's an election year, one Republican congressman has unveiled legislation to declare a ceaseless war against at least six terrorist groups in multiple countries.