9 Reasons Michele Bachmann Is a Perfect Fit for Buzzfeed
Perhaps Ben Smith has finally found a suitable replacement for serial plagiarist and right-wing fanboy Benny Johnson in that shiny reductio ad absurdum of conservative id, outgoing Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota.
In my new @Buzzfeed post, I reflect on 16 things I will miss about being in Congress: http://t.co/vSCifhsedJ
— Michele Bachmann (@MicheleBachmann) December 1, 2014
In her latest community contributors post—not "vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff," a disclaimer screams—the gay-hatin' Christ warrior Bachmann includes photos of herself smoking a stogie; ignoring Nancy Pelosi; teaching Capitol visitors about Murka and Gawd; and posing with various minorities, little people, and Jon Voight.
So good! So Buzzfeedy. Hopefully the online media juggernaut will recognize Bachmann's talent for what it is and elevate her to full-time, vetted staff. But in case the h8ers manage to sow some doubts among Buzzfeed's deciders, here are nine reasons she'd fit right in:
1. She totally flips the script.
Like when she uses her belief in Christian End Times theology to explain why liberal Jews have sold out Israel for Obama.
2. She agrees: Aw, kids are sooo cute.
You can tell she really does it all for the children when she explains how gays want a society in which "adults will be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That's the deviance that we're seeing embraced in our culture today."
3. Obsessed with time-wasting games? She's been there.
Like when even Fox News deranged man Neil Cavuto expressed concerns for Bachmann's sanity over her pivot from shutting down the government to suing Obama for, well, whatever.
4. She has her finger on the pulse of early 2013's hottest public television trend.
American democracy in the streets, English aristocracy in the sheets. That's just how we roll, lol!
5. She has great online journalistic instincts.
In that she either leaks sensitive classified government info, or makes shit up wholesale.
6. She doesn't just know pop culture, pop culture knows her.
7. She can like do gifs and stuff.
And gifs are really valuable to a company like Buzzfeed. They're, like, bitcoin for the internet.
8. Corndogs, wow!
9. She's gonna just be real, no matter what other people say!
Bachmann's only other Buzzfeed contributor column, from last year, was on the "top 10 reasons to consider adoption." LGBT friends, you might prefer to read Chris Geidner's Buzzfeed report published the same week, titled "Rep. Michele Bachmann Refuses To Include LGBT Families In Adoption Resolution."
