Pictured above is New Hampshire state Rep. Steve Vaillancourt, who likes to watch elections (and tape them with his video camera?). If you will indulge him, he'll explain to you why an incumbent Democratic congresswoman will lose in an upcoming race: because her challenger is hot.

These idle thoughts passed through Vaillancourt's head last Friday evening, and wrote them into a post on his NH Insider blog. New research recently confirmed that more attractive candidates get an electoral boost over less attractive ones, Vaillancourt, a Republican, typed. He's not sure of the source of that new research—it "might have been from Fox's Red Eye show" or possibly a dream.

Being a man in a position of power and a political blogger, Vaillancourt thought it natural to apply these settled principles to a local congressional race, using his absolutely objective standards of female beauty:

In New Hampshire's second congressional district, if I may be so bold as to speak the truth, Republican Marilinda Garcia is one of the mot [sic] attractive women on the political scene anywhere, not so attractive as to be intimindating [sic], but truly attractive.

How attractive is Marilinda Garcia? You know how opposition ad makers usually go out of their way to find a photo of the opponent not looking his or her best. Well...Democrats and Annie Kuster supporters can't seem to find a photo of Marilinda Garcia looking bad at all.

As for Annie....oh as for Annie...and before I continue, I offer that caution, caution, caution, gain [sic].

Let's be honest. Does anyone not believe that Congressman Annie Kuster is as ugly as sin? And I hope I haven't offended sin.

If looks really matter and if this race is at all close, give a decided edge to Marilinda Garcia.

Fortunately, Vaillancourt is a gentleman, and so there are myriad subtleties to this blog post that could have been most vulgar in the hands of another man. When, for example, Vaillancourt says that he would give a decided edge to Marilinda Garcia, he likely means that he would prefer to treat her like Penelope Cruz does a steak.

But Vaillancourt, true to his name, valiantly demurs from such crassness in order to explain to Rep. Ann McClain Kuster, of Dartmouth and Georgetown Law, just what her deal is. "How ugly is Annie Kuster? Again avert your eyes if you don't want to hear it," he writes, and you know something incredible is coming, because good Lord what can be uglier than mixing your vision and hearing metaphors?

I'll spare you from see-hearing the details, dear reader, but what follows is a long anecdote about Vaillancourt heading up to Montreal and sipping coffee at a favorite bar named Mados, and watching the drag queens go by because "you see, Mados is a drag queen bar... not that there's anything wrong with that," and "sad to say, but the drag queens are more atrractive [sic] than Annie Kuster... not that there's anything wrong with that."

Huffington Post didn't reach Congresswoman Kuster for comment, but did contact Emily's List, a PAC that endorsed Kuster for reelection, seeking a response to Vaillancourt's objective analysis:

"This is a lawmaker? Like, a person who makes laws? This person has no business anywhere near laws that affect women or other human beings," said Jess McIntosh, a spokeswoman for the group.

[Photo credit: AP Images]