Not content simply to ban gay marriage, conservative Florida Attorney General and champion long-starer Pam Bondi filed a brief this week begging a judge not to grant a divorce to a lesbian whose civil-union partner left her alone years ago.

In a radio interview with fellow religious zealots earlier this week, folksy pork product Mike Huckabee thrashed the Republican Party for its "capitulation" on same-sex marriage, threatening that if the party didn't find Jesus soon, "You lose me, I'm gone, I'll become an independent... I'm tired of this."