Since the time of Archimedes, human history has acknowledged six simple machines, basic tools designed to advance our lots. But in 2014, no tool proved simpler and more efficient in the production of sublimation, denial and self-sustaining garbage than our conservative media. Here were its highest achievements.

Jermell Hasson spent his summer sleeping in a parking lot in Ferguson to join the protests over Michael Brown's shooting by police. Hasson's reward was to become racist America's favorite meme, after a doctored image of him was shared thousands of times across the internet's dark, sticky id-corners.