TGI Friday's Will Terrorize Holiday Diners With "Mistletoe Drones"
T.G.I. Friday's, a popular grease trap with a paid seating area for humans, has no fucking time to deal with your holiday-fueled stress and sadness. Now, give your barmate a kiss already, your pilot-rated waiter is watching.
In a perfect creepy union of capitalism and the surveillance state, engineered to convince consumer-citizens that there's nothing creepy about such a union, this, from Friday's in Britain:
Yes, TGI Friday's has announced that it is rolling out camera-equipped mistletoe drones in its U.K. stores for the holiday season, starting with a central Manchester location. Because if there's one thing drones are better at than killing people, it's pressuring them to snog.
A spokeswoman for Friday's said the "mistletoe drones" are part of the restaurant's "legendary" holiday atmosphere. "Not only are they great fun for the entire restaurant, but they help people get a little closer at this time of the year." She added: "Who knows—maybe we'll have had our first mistletoe drone wedding by this time next year."
Yes, and when this hypothetical Katniss-and-Peeta duo come together in unmanned aerially enforced matrimony, their bliss will be endless, like fried-cheese appetizers.