Thirsty Uber Seeks the Fresh Blood of Military Veterans
Uber, the smartphone-based succubus that's driving taxis to extinction (but isn't really driving disabled people anywhere), is branching out to military vets and their loved ones. They want vet drivers, vet riders and most importantly, several well-placed executives in the federal defense establishment.
The San Francisco-based company announced the move today on its blog:
Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging, but at Uber we understand that veterans are some of our nation's most talented and skilled leaders. That's why we're excited to launch UberMILITARY: our new program to introduce service members, veterans and military spouses to Uber and empower them as entrepreneurs and small business owners. Over the next 18 months, we will on-board 50,000 members of the military community to the Uber platform.
Uber—which recently hired Obama campaign wunderkind David Plouffe to massage its public image—follows in the footsteps of other megacorps who have guaranteed jobs for vets, like Walmart. And like Walmart, while former service members vie for underpaying jobs, the company's positioning itself to profit richly from the patriotic publicity.
First, it's brought ex-defense secretary Robert Gates on as a volunteer advisor to vouch for the company's noble intentions—a move that's already paid off with a puffy article-cum-advertisement in Politico Magazine today. Gates' alleged column, allegedly co-written by Uber's CEO, mirrors the ex-secretary's Uber PR quote:
I'm proud to be a part of this unprecedented effort by a single company to ensure that tens of thousands of our nation's military members, veterans and spouses have access to a unique entrepreneurial opportunity. UberMILITARY is committed to providing our service men and women with the economic opportunity, flexibility and entrepreneurship that are the foundation of the Uber platform.
More interestingly, Uber last month succeeded in getting a VP installed on the Defense Business Board, a Rumsfeld-era group of private-sector country-club plutocrats who give the Pentagon advice on how to run more like a business. Unsurprisingly, previous members with energy sector experience have advised the DOD to go long on oil futures. And pretty much everybody on the board has recommended cutting service members' benefits, busting civilian workers' unions, and restructuring everybody's pensions.
Lord only knows what Uber's VP, Emil Michael, can add to the defense board's work. But at least he's among friends at both workplaces, having worked as "a White House Fellow assisting defense secretary Robert Gates for two years."
In the meantime, the Marine veteran with the Purple Heart and Silver Star in this Uber recruiting video can continue to busy himself schlepping dot-commers around for an allegedly exploitive profit-machine that will replace him with a Google robot the first chance it gets.