But man, watch them make Ukraine disappear!

Yes, that’s Russian President Vladimir Putin with his besty, martial arts immigrant-dislikin’ dude Steven Seagal, who has a very special relationship with Russia, according to a new longread by Buzzfeed’s Max Seddon and Rosie Gray. You see, when relations between Putin and President Obama soured, Russia’s favorite post-Soviet heavy had a plan:

Putin proposed a bold new idea: Make Steven Seagal an honorary consul of Russia in California and Arizona, and thus a potential intermediary between the White House and the Kremlin.

Seagal, the martial artist turned washed-up action hero, was just the man to pull U.S.–Russia relations back from the brink, Putin said, according to four current and former U.S. officials.

Yeah sure why not, let’s invite Cheney too and get the fuckin’ band back together.

[ Photo credit: ALEXEI NIKOLSKY/AFP/Getty Images]