NRA frontman and "jackbooted thugs" scholar Wayne LaPierre has a new cover story out in an Election Day edition of the group's magazine, America's First Freedom. The gist: "Vote Your Guns In November," because so much danger is closing in on Obama's America you should be shitting yourself with fear.

"Brace yourself," LaPierre starts. "You won't hear about this from the mainstream media... But the reality is that we may be living in some of the most dangerous times in human history":

Whether it's through an EMP, a massive cyber attack, another 9/11 or just isolated sprees of murder and mayhem, military and homeland security officials agree it's just a matter of time before the U.S. faces some kind of terrorist attack.

Electromagnetic pulse attacks are precisely why you can't have one of those newfangled safer "smart guns," since Big Brother or Big Jihad can take 'em and their circuitry out lickety-split, according to the action-fantasy script LaPierre's working on here.

But bear in mind, the enemy isn't just external. Chaos and danger and dog whistles are everywhere:

Even if you take terrorists and criminals out of the picture, chaos is an ever-present danger to Americans today—especially when you factor in the undercurrent of social unrest that seethes beneath the surface of much of our society. How many times have we seen peaceful protests in this country degenerate into riots, looting, shootings, arsons and worse? How many times have we seen crowds turn into angry mobs after court decisions they didn't like, sports team defeats they felt were unfair, natural disasters that collapsed civil order — or just for the sheer hell of it?

Yes, crowds of fearful angry men who are unhappy with legal decisions can do a lot of crazy things that certainly scare the hell out of me.

[h/t Media Matters]