"And now, for 'My Take™.' So: Should we trust the government to keep us all safe from Ebola?" With these words, Fox News head-on-a-stick Gretchen Carlson offered 56 seconds' worth of historic, Brobdingnagian "Take™," replete with Obamacare IRS Secret Service Benghazi, does she have to spell it out for you.

This weak-ass presidential security imbroglio wouldn't happen if Rick Perry was president, says Rick Perry. Maybe if Obama got assassinated, then he'd do something about securing the White House, says Politico. Maybe they're right, and the Secret Service knows it, and is just trying to teach this latte lawyer how real life works.