Ron Klain, the White House's new "Ebola Czar," is not a doctor. But he is a Democratic staffer. Who once offered a soundbite on the problems of overpopulation in an interview with his college alumni office. Do I have to spell it out for you? Fine. But first, grab some provisions and head to the fallout shelter.

Via conservative American Thinker columnist M. Catharine Evans—author of such classics as "Beyonce Sex Video May Help Push STD Rates Even Higher," "Does Russia Want Alaska Back," and "Another Stealth Jihadi?"—comes this latest epiphany that Hussein Obummer has deliberately selected an Ebola czar who will be really good at killing off undesirables with the exotic virus:

Obama's appointment of a man with no medical expertise had pundits stumped, but it makes a tad more sense now. As one of the global elites obsessed with overpopulation, an outbreak of a deadly disease in West Africa is a perfect vehicle for Klain. He can now push an agenda that has occupied the ruling class for over a century. Prince Philip once remarked, "If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels." Is Klain set to morph into our first official "population control czar. [sic]"

As evidence that Klain is "obsessed with overpopulation," Evans cites some 30 seconds in the middle of a 42-minute interview of Klain and his wife, conservationist Monica Medina, by the alumni office of Georgetown University, where the pair met before graduating in 1983. I say some 30 seconds, because they're not all connected; Evans forgets about 300 words and several ellipses in her misquoting. But the fact stands: Here are two Democrats who are concerned about depletion of the oceans and having enough "food for future generations to survive." And clearly, anyone who's openly talking about overpopulation is a Malthusian-Hitlerite hybrid who's looking to cull the herd by any means necessary.

But this is just the latest strain of a theory that, like a virus, has already spread and mutated many times over. There's the idea that "'Ebola Barry' is deliberately spreading Ebola inside America in a way that would have made Typhoid Mary blush with embarrassment over his brazen ways." There's Republican Congressman Louie Gohmert's hunch that Obama "has cut a deal with African leaders... to bring people" infected with Ebola into America, in much the same way that POTUS sent 3,000 U.S. troops overseas to hard-hit African regions "where they can get Ebola that they can bring back." And of course, there's the Rush Limbaugh hypothesis that Obama believes Americans deserve to catch Ebola and die because of slavery.

How can you inoculate yourself against this fast-moving brain pox? You cannot. Even if it finds no purchase in your medulla oblongata, it will inflame you, weaken your natural immunities, and seize you with a sense of hopeless resignation.

[Photo credit: AP Images]