Florida and Navy officials revealed last Friday that they’re investigating an incident in which a U.S. Navy hovercraft being operated off-base by military contractors ran over a kayaker at high speed, leaving him bloodied in the water off Panama City Beach.

Joseph Carannate just got old enough to (legally) own his 9mm handgun and was ready for some next-level Second Amendmenting: He set up a sad-looking pile of dirt and wood in the yard of his suburban house as a makeshift firing range. He's just taking advantage of a pro-gun Florida law that leaves even the NRA aghast.

In 17 years as a Hialeah cop, Harold Garzon has racked up 16 internal affairs cases against him. He may have a 17th case, after pulling over the wrong guy for playing N.W.A. on his car stereo: a "double Harvard graduate" and current law student who wasn't snowed by Garzon's poor command of state noise ordinances.

School officials in Polk County, Florida, have suspended the principal of the middle school that hosted a controversial unannounced "active shooter" drill by local police last Thursday, freaking out students, parents, and teachers who thought the drill was a real attack by a maniac with an AR-15.

Terror and death can strike anyone at any time. That's the lesson for Winter Haven, Florida, middle school students, parents and teachers, who were treated to a very special episode of terror last week after the local police staged a mass shooting drill on the school grounds without warning anyone beforehand.

Well, how would you make the goddamn thing disappear?

Just in time for Halloween, the Satanic Temple is pushing Orlando-area public schools to distribute a Beelzebub-oriented coloring book to the kiddies, who already get Bibles from a local megachurch and conservative lobby group. The crazy thing is, the Satanists have made a pretty decent coloring book.

Florida Republicans organized a get-out-the-vote rally in Sarasota Tuesday night to help tip a tight governor's race in conservative Rick Scott's favor. First, the 700 ralliers heard from Bobby Jindal. Then, they applauded a right-wing radio host who called rape culture "nonsense" from "the feminist left."

Not content simply to ban gay marriage, conservative Florida Attorney General and champion long-starer Pam Bondi filed a brief this week begging a judge not to grant a divorce to a lesbian whose civil-union partner left her alone years ago.

Fangate, Fanghazi, @CCristFan. Whatever meme you choose today to braid into the long wild hair of Florida, Lady Liberty's abandoned enfant sauvage, it means the same thing: God detests this state and its people.

The Department of Justice probably won't pursue any federal civil rights charges against George Zimmerman for his shooting of black teen Trayvon Martin in 2012, according to a new report, so the off-kilter gun enthusiast's recent apocalyptic fantasies may go unfulfilled.

Life ain't easy for a young woman named Isis. Which is why she's launched a campaign to get people to stop calling the Iraq/Syria terror group "ISIS." She could use her given name, Teresa, but "People don't know me as Teresa, they know me as Isis," she said. "If I do that, then the terrorists win."

Steve Southerland, a tea partier in a tough battle for his Florida congressional seat with the daughter of a Democratic ex-senator, caught criticism last week for hosting a closed-doors men-only fundraiser. But he told reporters today that he's no misogynist, because he knows how ladies do love negligees.

Armed Floridian George Zimmerman, who previously used some of his numerous guns to kill black teen Trayvon Martin and menace Zimmerman's then-girlfriend, has been accused of getting into a road-rage confrontation with a driver and threatening to kill him.